Love Letters
I am not overly burdened by regrets. When asked: “If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?” I answer: “Everything…or…nothing.”
One’s life is, after all, the course we map by the decisions we make. It is shaped by our choices regarding schools, friends, lovers, employers and habitats. If I wanted to experience a completely new and different life, I would alter a great many decisions. I have no idea what the consequences could be (I’ve never been good at anticipating consequences), but I’m certain my life would be totally different.
The thing is, I know why I made all the choices I made. My reasons were valid (to me, anyway)…I tried to satisfy my yearnings, appease my hunger. More often than not, I chose to follow where love would lead me. Each choice led to consequences, and not necessarily the hoped-for consequences. Still, if one must go through life as a moth drawn to a flame, is it not better that the flame be love, rather than fame, fortune, security, popularity, privilege or power? If I were to have another chance at life, I’d still be a fool for love.
* * *
Lately I’ve been thinking about one thing I wish I had done differently in my life. I wish I had written a love letter every evening. It wouldn’t have been that hard. In fact, it would have been no sacrifice at all. I have to believe that one can reap enormous benefits by making love the focus of each evening’s meditation. If only, at the end of each day, I had stolen a few minutes to reflect on the love experienced that day, the joy of life itself; surely, that would have done at least two hearts good. To know that you must look…each and every day…for love’s quiet presence and tiniest blessings, would focus the mind on something quite beautiful and beneficial. It would not have been difficult to compose a letter each night, seal it in an envelope, place it on my partner’s night stand, and have it opened at the beginning of the new day. It would have inspired both partners…and a bit of inspiration can go an awfully long way…
* * *
I compose love letters in my mind every night. It’s different though. There is no addressee with eyes to read. I can dispense with the typing, the envelope on the nightstand. I compose love letters to the ones I love. I compose love letters in my head every night and entertain myself with the thought that, perhaps, there really is a great Cosmic Consciousness, and that loving thoughts will somehow find their way to loving hearts…places where my reveries, hopes and dreams can shimmer or soothe. It does me good.
One’s life is, after all, the course we map by the decisions we make. It is shaped by our choices regarding schools, friends, lovers, employers and habitats. If I wanted to experience a completely new and different life, I would alter a great many decisions. I have no idea what the consequences could be (I’ve never been good at anticipating consequences), but I’m certain my life would be totally different.
The thing is, I know why I made all the choices I made. My reasons were valid (to me, anyway)…I tried to satisfy my yearnings, appease my hunger. More often than not, I chose to follow where love would lead me. Each choice led to consequences, and not necessarily the hoped-for consequences. Still, if one must go through life as a moth drawn to a flame, is it not better that the flame be love, rather than fame, fortune, security, popularity, privilege or power? If I were to have another chance at life, I’d still be a fool for love.
* * *
Lately I’ve been thinking about one thing I wish I had done differently in my life. I wish I had written a love letter every evening. It wouldn’t have been that hard. In fact, it would have been no sacrifice at all. I have to believe that one can reap enormous benefits by making love the focus of each evening’s meditation. If only, at the end of each day, I had stolen a few minutes to reflect on the love experienced that day, the joy of life itself; surely, that would have done at least two hearts good. To know that you must look…each and every day…for love’s quiet presence and tiniest blessings, would focus the mind on something quite beautiful and beneficial. It would not have been difficult to compose a letter each night, seal it in an envelope, place it on my partner’s night stand, and have it opened at the beginning of the new day. It would have inspired both partners…and a bit of inspiration can go an awfully long way…
* * *
I compose love letters in my mind every night. It’s different though. There is no addressee with eyes to read. I can dispense with the typing, the envelope on the nightstand. I compose love letters to the ones I love. I compose love letters in my head every night and entertain myself with the thought that, perhaps, there really is a great Cosmic Consciousness, and that loving thoughts will somehow find their way to loving hearts…places where my reveries, hopes and dreams can shimmer or soothe. It does me good.
* * *
posted by Jonas | 1/01/2006 03:13:00 PM
4 Comments:
What an absolutely beautiful thought.
Then hang on to that thought. I've no doubt that you will love again (and fiercely). You'll get the chance to write your letters. I hope you make the most of the opportunity.
I'll write a letter to myself to begin writing letters when I have someone to write them to again.
I think that is a most excellent idea, Ms. Green Eyes! Go ahead and fall in love with yourself all over again (there's a lot to love). Your future lover will be the ultimate beneficiary of that!
Post a Comment
<< Home