I Made Myself Laugh (sorta)

Blogging, for me, is a stream-of-consciousness-thing. A river of thought flows and swirls constantly through my head. There are times when a fully formed thought drifts by, so I grab it, put it into words and post an entry. Sometimes the thought is formless, but I know it is something important (important to me, anyway). The “thoughtlet” needs more time. It needs to find a quiet cove where it can grow in truth and substance. I’ve resorted to creating title entries and placing them in a folder as a prompt to revisit particular ideas, thoughts or emotions. At any given time, I may have five or six titles awaiting text. I may occasionally add a note or two, or I may simply give my subconscious mind time to mull and ponder a while longer.

I opened the folder today and found this title: “Character Flaw.” There was no text.

Character Flaw…the topic is driving me crazy. What did I mean to say? What, exactly, was I pondering? I did a quick “flaw review” and simply gave up. I have too many. For the life of me, I cannot remember which flaw it was that prompted me to create that title. It must have been significant. It must have been something that caused me discomfort, perhaps even anguish…something I felt I had to examine and reexamine further. Silly me. I had forgotten what it was in me that required contemplation and confession. Flaws? I have too many. I was overwhelmed. I gave up.

After a half-hour of head scratching, I just had to laugh. I had ventured forth on a fool’s errand…

I deleted the file.

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