Bittersweet Surrender

Last night, I popped a CD into the player. I had not done that for what seems like an eternity. I wanted to listen to a mix I had compiled about four years ago, entitled Bittersweet Surrender. Here’s the play list:

Barenaked Ladies – What A Good Boy
Matchbox Twenty – Shame
Matchbox Twenty – Hang
Matchbox Twenty – Bed of Lies
Bruce Springsteen – Human Touch
Big Head Todd and The Monsters – Broken Hearted Saviour
Big Head Todd and The Monsters – Turn The Light Out
Big Head Todd and The Monsters – Bittersweet
R.E.M. – Bang And Blame
R.E.M. – I’ve Been High
R.E.M. – I’ll Take The Rain
Snow Patrol – One Night Is Not Enough
Snow Patrol – Make Love To Me Forever
Lifehouse – Trying
Lifehouse – Everything
Collective Soul – Run

As a whole, it’s a “fairly” quiet, low-key collection of songs (with a good beat). The music speaks to failure, melancholy, confusion, wants and dreams.

“In the end, what you don’t surrender
The world just strips away…”
---Bruce Springsteen---

I put together this mix at a time when I knew my marriage was crumbling and I understood neither how nor why. Funny, years later, I still don’t understand. Years later, my confusion extends past my failed marriage to love relationships in general. Years later, the music speaks to me exactly as it did originally.

I’ve experienced and suffered much in the intervening years, but I’ve learned little. The human heart remains veiled in mystery to me.

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I thought I would be wiser by now.

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