Women I've Known

She came to love a pirate. He promised diamonds and adventures galore. She paid no nevermind that he was married for, you see, she trusted and believed. He came to spend her money. She wrote the checks and paid the bills...until there was precious little left for either. He spares no time in loving her. He gives her too little and she gives him too much. But she claims he is her “teacher” because she believes in Destiny. He is her pirate and she loves him still.

She met him on the corner, all dark-eyed and black-leathered. She gave him her heart and he gave her a ring. But he lusted after whiskey and whiskey made him cruel. He would beat on her when stupored...
but he’d repent...and then would do it all again. She dreamed her dreams but lived a life quite opposite. She tried to leave him; yes, she did. Sadly, her parents couldn’t cotton that. It was a matter of Faith for them. For her? It was bruises and contusions and hopelessness beyond all hope. She picked up a razor...it was her only escape.

She married her high school sweetheart, a handsome hard-working man he was. But she was a square peg and he had fashioned a round hole. He bristled and scoffed at her dimensions, demanded what she had no power to give or be. He left her feeling substandard, guilt-ridden, ashamed and unsure. Her story is still being written, the ending is still...quite obscure.

She married her mentor, a well-credentialed, pedigreed sort. She gave him her body and she gave him a son. He gave her his myriad admonishments, his disdain and his requirements. Still, she claimed he was a doting man (though his needs trumped those of any and all). She swore he was a good man, a good father. But did he listen to his child? Did he care enough to savor his own progeny? Maybe yes or maybe no. But he’s hers, she’s his, and together they remain.

She came to love sheer luxury...granite countertops and gold-plated faucets galore. She had voids to fill. Holes in an otherwise gorgeous soul. He came to loathe his money, her drinking and the harsh tirades. He gave what he could, ‘til there was nothing left to give. And she raged. He loved her and loves her still, but he walked away from luxury...to save his soul. Both lost everything, all that they had cherished. Both are doomed to grieve.

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The casual reader may think that I wrote this out of pique or petulance. The casual reader would be wrong. These are women
I have loved. Women I love still. That’s not to say I understood or understand them. Not at all. I’m no bodhisattva...I am very much a fool.

These are women I have come to love. Not for how they chose to live, but for the beauty I saw within. Now, I’m not one to believe in the Great Hereafter. But for them? For them I dream of Heaven.

For them I dream...eternal happiness.

They've earned it.

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