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Monday, June 11, 2007

A Paean To Rapture


All it took was a poem and a comment, and I found myself contemplating rapture...again. It’s not the first time. Two years ago,
I offered this blog entry, where I posted one of my own poems, Drowning In Beauty. There it is again, death as a metaphor for something far different…whether drowning in beauty or a “silo of gold”…it’s all the same.

Maybe rapture isn’t the right word; maybe it’s not ecstasy, either. What is the proper term for losing yourself in a dream and a soul? That’s what I’m talking about, here: losing yourself in a beautiful soul…a golden whirlpool…surrendering yourself to another.

T. R. Hummer’s poem Where You Go When She Sleeps captures, for me, the physical sensations of the experience. His metaphor transports me to a familiar dream, lost in my love’s hair or breath or heat or scent. I am mesmerized by the dream, and lose myself in the “whirling of sunlight and water and air full of shining dust….” I am a man-child who knows what it’s like to surrender my soul, to be filled with the gold of another, to drown in love.

It’s a transforming experience.

Hummer’s poem resonates because I’ve lived it. I’ve written that I’ve had four grand passions in my life. How do I know? I know because, at some point in each relationship, in dizzying moments of pure serenity and sheer awe, I lost myself in…surrendered to…her soul. With two, the rapture came early. With two, it took far longer. As I wrote before:

One is blessed if, even for a fleeting moment, the soul surrenders to another. In the space of a heartbeat, we become divine...taste infinity...experience rapture. One is truly blessed if these moments come again and again. But…even one moment...one thin slice of awe...can make all the difference in the world.

* * *

Four souls once swept me in, and the awe…the rapture…will not, will never let me go.

* * *

14 Comments:

Blogger deb said...

You are a lucky man to have experienced that four times in your lifetime. I have never, I am sad to say. I thought I had once, but I was mistaken. I also don't know if I would surrender my soul to another. I don't know if I would have the strength or the trust that would be required.

It's something I have read about and thought I would like to experience, but I don't know. It would require a nakedness beyond anything I could imagine. A naked down to my very soul which I am only learning to love myself.

As I said before, you are a lucky man.

Mon Jun 11, 11:07:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

It is wonderful to have the capacity to be enthralled in such a deep and intense way.

Four souls swept you in but then, Jonas, didn't you have to let go of each at the time the other came along, in order to be swept away again? If you surrender to one, surely you have to escape that captivity to find the next soul?

If the rapture...will not, will never let me go. how do you give your soul, anew, to the next encounter? Is there less and less to give each time, as you never get it back?

Tue Jun 12, 03:40:00 AM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Girl said...

Knowing how to give yourself over to the rapture isn't something everyone can do. To have experienced it multiple times in one lifetime is to b cherished, I'd say.

Tue Jun 12, 10:19:00 AM  
Blogger Sunny Delight said...

Funny, I read this, and I thought of the birth of my children, those two times, my soul was surrendered to them, those moments of feeling it give way to them will always be cherished by me.

One other time have I thought I had surrendered all that was me, for the love of another, one time have I felt that gift of another surrendering their soul to me...but...it was not to last...life...and responsibilities got in the way...the memory of that experience though...carries me ever onward to experience it once again.

Tue Jun 12, 06:50:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Ah, Deb, you just never know...

This losing oneself in another can't be planned or pre-determined. It just happens. Hearts and souls will simply do what they are wont to do...

I believe, Fiona, that the soul is infinite and the heart has an infinite capacity to love. My Grand Passions appeared at different times over the course of the last 40 years, with long intervals in between each (healing time). While I certainly consider myself lucky to have met such beautiful hearts, and my feelings remain ever present in my heart, their departures left deep wounds.

It takes a happy heart to be enthralled...

I'm not sure I know how to give myself over to another, Ms. Green-Eyes, it just happens. I'd say it was something about my lover's soul that compelled me.

Yes, Sunny, I have heard several mothers mention similar experiences with their children. Would that lovers loved each other as fervently and unconditionally as parents love their children!

Tue Jun 12, 08:20:00 PM  
Blogger Laurie Anne said...

Jonas, I would really still love to hear your sentiments on the werewolf....

Sat Jun 16, 12:19:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Oh, it's just that same old, tired story, Laurie. Yes...I was raised by werewolves. But there are days when I wish my life were, somehow, special. Sigh.

Sat Jun 16, 12:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Grace said...

Jonas...you've had such wonderful experiences. Thank you for sharing these intimate moments so beautifully.

Giving oneself over to another is an act of faith and trust. Faith in their ability to receive, faith in their desire to embrace tenderly all that we entrust them with.

I agree...we are infinite in our capacity to love and love well and love completely. Love is not divided by it's use - it is multiplied.

Happy sailing, Jonas....

Tue Jun 19, 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thank you, Grace. I feel the freshening winds...

Tue Jun 19, 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I've had one knee-knocking, hand shaking, voice trembling love in a lover.

I now have two loves that nearly bring me to my knees every single day with what I feel for them. They are beautiful and both have my hair.

But, why, then is it somedays the boy that I miss?

Tue Jun 19, 07:57:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

"But, why, then is it somedays the boy that I miss?"

Because hearts and souls never forget bliss...no matter the count of the years or decades that have passed.

Thank you for stopping by, Jenn.

Tue Jun 19, 08:34:00 PM  
Blogger Greenwoman said...

How lovely are these poems...thank you! I do enjoy my visits to read here...You are a terrific writer. *smiles*

Wed Jun 20, 10:12:00 AM  
Blogger Winter said...

Beautiful picture.

Wed Jun 20, 11:31:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Awwwww, Ms. Greenwoman...you just made me blush!

Yes, Winter, I think that photograph captures something primal...essential...utterly beautiful.

Thanks for stopping by.

Wed Jun 20, 10:22:00 PM  

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