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Location: Midwest, United States

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Spinnin' Wheels

I’ve written more than twice that wheels keep twirling inside my skull. They’re ever spinning, never stopping, only rarely slowing down.
I suppose it was preordained by my DNA. It’s simply how I am.
It’s my nature.

I’ve always accepted it, generally benefited from it, and have often been bemused by all the commotion, the constant whirling. Still, one can live too long inside one’s own head.

Oh, how these wheels of thought have spun and twirled these last few years! I’ve been lost in the cogs and the mayhem. I withdrew from the world as I agonized, sifted, sorted, puzzled and pondered. A bit of contemplation is a good and useful thing. An endless glut? Not so much.

Summer grudgingly gives ground to fall. The light slants low, casting glorious shadows. Ensconced within my car, I travel past a forest preserve and notice golden leaves glowing against the dark asphalt of a bike path. I’m overwhelmed with yearning. I was once a runner, padding along wooded trails almost daily...a semi-denizen of the forest. I was healthier, once. Happier. My senses reveled in Nature’s glories. I came to know a few of my fellow wanderers - the deer, coyotes, rabbits, squirrels, owls and crows. I believe a few came to know me.

I hunger to be wild and free again, to feel the sun and wind and rain, again.

I’d traded in my marathon runner’s legs for the legs of an aged man. The cartilage in my knees and hips has eroded to frayed fiber. I can no longer glide along a wooded trail, merely hobble. But the golden leaves, the dappled trails beckon. If I do not answer, if I remain blind and deaf, insentient, I will surely wither and die.

And so I found myself wandering into a bicycle shop. “I need a bicycle for trail riding,” I say. “We have just the thing,” she says. So there I am and there it is, a hybrid trail bike to call my very own.

Dawn arrives cool and comforting. Leaves scamper through the forest. I have returned to the forest, my refuge, my sanctuary, my church. OK, granted, the animal souls peeking at me are somewhat bewildered by this half animal/half machine, but it’s the best I can do. I trust they’ll someday come to accept my chrome and rubber stratagem to, once again, become one with them.

These wheels beneath me quiet the wheels in my head, and take me where I need to be.

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* * *

Gratuitous non-sequitor: I have fallen madly, head-over-heels in love with Natalie Dessay.

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16 Comments:

Anonymous Ed said...

Very happy to hear you've found an outlet for your wanderlust!

Tue Oct 09, 04:55:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thanks, Ed!

It may not seem like a big deal to many/most...but it's a very big deal to me to reconnect with the world.

Tue Oct 09, 10:05:00 PM  
Blogger LA said...

Glad you've adapted....as we all must sooner or later. Better to adapt and be "creative" than to stagnate and become bitter.

Tue Oct 09, 10:06:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Ah, Laurie! Where you been?
I was beginning to worry about you...

Tue Oct 09, 10:30:00 PM  
Blogger flutter said...

I am proud of you for doing this

Tue Oct 09, 10:46:00 PM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Enjoy the wind in your nose!
[I'd say hair but I don't want to cross a line? lol]

Tue Oct 09, 11:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Roads said...

Enjoy the open road, Jonas !

It's a great way to keep fit, and a lot less impact on the joints. And if you're a slow runner like me, it's liberating to cover so much more ground on a bike.

The leaves are wonderful in the autumn sunshine here, too, right now, so it's well worth getting out.

Wed Oct 10, 03:31:00 AM  
Blogger Twilight said...

Well done, Jonas! It sounds to be a delightful way to commune with nature - and no carbon footprint!

Wed Oct 10, 09:41:00 AM  
Blogger deb said...

I'm glad you've found a way to reconnect to something that gives you so much pleasure. I'm the same way, except I walk, a much more sensible enterprise than running. I love the sound of the leaves still on the trees and the crunch of those already underfoot. My mother is a great believer in the health benefits of fresh air, she's English, and she has passed that on to me. But it's true, I do feel better once I'm outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Hope you do to.

Wed Oct 10, 01:01:00 PM  
Blogger Gillette said...

Happy Trails, Jonas!! Happy you'll be on them.

Wed Oct 10, 02:38:00 PM  
Blogger someGirl said...

I too spend way too much time in my head...way too much. Going out for walks just quiets all the rustling in my head. Fall is my favorite time of year...

Thu Oct 11, 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger Snowqueen said...

aaahh to worship again at the temple of nature, I wish I could join you. I too, love forests and mountains, particularly in winter and autumn. I love snow-crested paths that crunch underfoot. My favourite park is in Warsaw where there is a palace on a lake in a beautiful park and it is like walking through a forest with sqirrels hurrying by. The tropics leave my heart moist , and not with the dew of humidity, but with the tears of wishing to be in a place that breathes passing seasons.

Thu Oct 11, 09:56:00 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Jonas, I had to pull the plug on the blog for a specific reason...very weird story. I still can't blog about it.

Sat Oct 13, 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Ms. Flutter - Thank you. I'm just trying to heal body and soul.

Ms. Cheese - Hah! I can still feel the wind in my hair! Granted, it's not as thick as it once was, but it's long, it's mine, and it still tickles my shoulder blades.

Ah, Roads - Nature is batting her eyelashes at me and I'm swooning!

Ms. Twilight - Power to the pedals!

Hey, Deb - Sensible has never been an apt adjective for me. I do love the air up my snoot!

Pammie! - The trails make me very happy!

Ms. S-Grrl - Methinks most bloggers spend a wee bit too much time inside their heads. The fall has been absolutely delicious!

Your Highness - I understand. I need four seasons...something to remind me that time is a wastin'.

Sat Oct 13, 09:49:00 PM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Girl said...

What a gorgeous photo

Mon Oct 15, 10:52:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Makes you want to venture into the woods, doesn't it, Ms. Green-eyes?

Mon Oct 15, 11:22:00 AM  

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