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Location: Midwest, United States

Friday, September 26, 2008

Grinding Gears


The first car I ever owned had a manual transmission. Not only did I not know how to drive, I didn’t know how to shift gears via clutch and gearshift either. Two feet met three pedals. Chaos ensued.

I learned, but not without seriocomic drama. Oh, how the gears clashed! The car jerked and stalled, bounced, wiggled, shimmied and shook, all to a soundtrack of screeches, screams and squeals...and expletives...a whole lotta frustrated, angry expletives. Still, if I wanted to traverse from Point A to Point B, I HAD to learn to drive.
I had to learn how to shift smoothly and effortlessly as the road ahead demanded.

So I learned.

That’s pretty much the story of my life these days. I’m learning how to live, again, but with a heart, mind and soul most unfamiliar. The gears within clash and grind and tear into each other. Strangely, there’s no audio this time. Not one sound or note. There’s no music inside of me...no angry expletives, either.

Only tears.

* * *

4 Comments:

Blogger L'uragano (The Hurricane) said...

Sometimes neutral is a very good thing. Neutrality is needed. And the music will come back. You know it, even though you might not be able to see it.

Warm wishes your way.....

Fri Sep 26, 05:54:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thank you, Ms. Hurricane. I'm not quite as sure as you about the music coming back. For each and every affection, no matter how precious, there seems to be a point of no return.

I'll clutch those warm wishes close. I need them.

Fri Sep 26, 07:26:00 PM  
Blogger anna said...

My apologies for my sappiness, but this post made me just want to hug you.

Sat Sep 27, 07:04:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

The Maternal Instinct is great in you, Lil' Momma!

Sat Sep 27, 09:15:00 AM  

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