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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Waiting on Love

I can’t seem to banish this phrase from my skull. Literature, drama and poesy are replete with dramatic variants on the basic concept. Oh yes, Romance and Tragedy revolve about such themes. I’ve swooned and cried in have multitudes.

There are those of us who wait for Love...and those who don’t. There are the Fools and there are the Wise but...I swear...I can’t distinguish one from the other.

Tell me, Dear Reader, should one wait on Love or should one not?

There are those who wait months, years, decades...even a lifetime...
for Love unrequited. Are they wrong? Are they foolish?

I honestly don’t know.

True love is worth a great deal of sacrifice. THAT I know. But...but...
if the Love were true, why would either have had to wait?

I honestly don't know.

I’ve spent the last several years waiting on Love. Not living, merely functioning, simply dawdling and loitering. I came up empty-handed. Was the waiting worth it? Was the possibility of Love worth the gamble? Were the pointless days, sleepless nights and drunken stupors worth the waste? I don’t know.

Perhaps, I’ll never know.

Still, there is this:

* * *


Blogger Ponita said...

Circumstance can make the wait interminable. One cannot know if it is worth waiting for beforehand. One must make a choice on whether to make that sacrifice to wait, or to lose the chance altogether and not wait.

It can be worth the wait... absolutely. But then again, there is the chance, as you discovered, Jonas, that it was not to be.

I am in a circumstance where I am waiting also.... it is my choice, although it is also my choice to make a different choice at some point in the future if that seems wiser. I know not what the future holds at this time. But... for now... I am patient.

Love that song. I had not heard it before. I now have it downloaded onto my iPod. Thank you.

And warm hugs to you, Jonas, the broken hearted one...

Wed Jan 07, 10:41:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

"Not living, merely functioning, simply dawdling and loitering. I came up empty-handed. Was the waiting worth it? Was the possibility of Love worth the gamble? Were the wasted days, sleepless nights and drunken stupors worth the effort?"

I believe in waiting, I believe in love, I believe sacrifice is inevitable. Along the way there can be mistakes made, lessons learned. Dawdling, loitering, wasted days, sleepless nights and in particular (for me anyway) drunken stupors aren't what I'd look for in a partner. I think if you can feel differently about yourself, not chastise yourself over past mistakes, and, most importantly, decide to put other relationships solidly in the past, then that will attract different energies to you.

We can only receive from what is out there, when we are ready to want and accept the best. And ready to love into the future, not into the past.

Wed Jan 07, 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger soul_rebel said...

Loved the clip of The Boss and some of his E Street Band. Hope you're well.

Wed Jan 07, 11:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Roads said...

Ah, The Boss. Always so good to hear, when you're Dancing in the Dark, tired and bored with yourself, and trying to light a fire without a spark.

That's hard.

I'm exactly with Fiona on this one. Perhaps you have to cut some slack and love yourself before love will find its way back to you.

The truth is that the possibilities in life are endless. And they're out there.

The trouble with grief is that it's self-fulfilling. It's compulsory to face it at some stage, and the doom will pour down in gallons for some poor people.

What's far worse is that gried is always there and it's always with you (you can believe me on this, since I have been there, as you know).

But, sadly and finally, the unpleasant fact is that grief leads nowhere new.

Our destinies are in our hands -- not in terms of the road ahead, but in the experience we determine to find within the journey.

It's hugely tough and enormously unfair, but the truth is there ain't no one gonna buck up our lives and find love for us but ourselves.

You need that spark to light the fire. The Boss was exactly right about that -- as with so much else.

Wishing you sunnier days ahead, my friend, from a chilly and foggy England.

Thu Jan 08, 04:34:00 AM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

"But, sadly and finally, the unpleasant fact is that grief leads nowhere new."
WOW... Roads spoke volumes with that sentence.

After losing my husband I waiting over 6 years before allowing myself to even THINK of letting another into my life and heart. Waiting was due a lot to the fact I had 5 kids to finish raising but also due to the fact I was wounded down to my core. Now I look back and still agree that waiting was the right thing as far as the kiddo part but I really could have let myself be open to others for MY OWN needs and wants. As I see it... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? That's the question you need to ask yourself. If it is just because you don't want to be hurt again... my thought would be-

If you don't feel pain.. how in the world can you even enjoy pleasure again? I think it's a cruel fact they go hand in hand. I for one am glad I opened up and stopped waiting. Sure is grand to share myself with another but I have to be honest.... it contains painful moments. But I wouldn't trade the pain for anything.

Let yourself share again dear. We only have this one life... live it.

Thu Jan 08, 07:50:00 AM  
Blogger Selma said...

Love is so complex. I know people waiting on love. I know others who cannot wait and throw themselves into relationships that are no good for them. I also know people who have been married for 20 years and have given up on love. There are no easy answers when it comes to love, but as Ponita said - it definitely can be worth the wait.

Thu Jan 08, 09:20:00 PM  
Blogger tipota said...

this is so true and honest jonas i admire your courage.
i couldnt even begin to speak on the subject tho i am familiar with those questions. even so, you're right, never knew or know really why i made this or that choice in retrospect. so i avoid retrospect, but you cant help but meet it face to face at times. and it can be retrowrenching.
the thing is tho that you have to do what you have to do. i know that doesnt say anything still it says a lot. the value of your life does not depend on it happening or not happening. what matters is who you are. you seem like an extraordinary gentleman.
you might not agree because i remember the street
scrabbler description you had one time that was funny. but anyway it does come throo in your words. if love is what you want need must have in this life (sorry for the cliche') you just give it away
first. i dont know if it involves waiting or not waiting, doesnt matter. and you seem to have a lot of it collected right here you can start giving it away any time. but its ok to hold onto it too ya know. and you deserve it right now.

Fri Jan 09, 03:58:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I am profoundly grateful to receive counsel from folks as good-hearted and wise as the likes of you. Profoundly grateful.


(P.S. I'm so delighted that you, Fiona and Reb, popped in...I have missed you.)

Sat Jan 10, 01:37:00 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

I don't know. I don't understand love, how it works, why is does or doesn't, why some of us seem to have it handed to us on a silver platter with no effort, why others of us seem to have to fight tooth and nail for just a sliver of it.

What I do know is that I have never waited on love. I lived without it and found other things in my life to occupy my time and energy....and then it came to me.

Sun Jan 11, 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Good to have you drop by again, Maria. I've read the saga of the road you traveled with Bing. Methinks she did a bit o' waiting...

Sun Jan 11, 07:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Grace said...

Waiting for love

I'm certainly no expert...but my first thought is,

It's Love,
waiting for us.

Fri Jan 16, 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

"It's Love waiting for us"

I like that. Thank you.

Fri Jan 16, 11:25:00 AM  

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