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Friday, February 27, 2009

Wanting=Hurting


Wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=
wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=
wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting=wanting=hurting.

So, how does this story end?

I know, I know...my buddy, Buddha, believed that suffering has a cause, namely craving and attachment (trishna); there is a cessation of suffering, which is nirvana; and there is a path to the cessation of suffering, the “Eightfold Path” of right views, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.

My buddy, Buddha, was a right smart man.

Still...

What I want is the brush of warm lips against mine. The comfort of loving arms wrapped around me, my arms lovingly reciprocating. What I crave is to hold another’s hand steadfastly as I walk this earth. What I hunger for is to love and be loved. What hurts is to know that my love makes no difference, that my heart has no outlet for its shy and awkward stammering expression.

Buddha was a righteous dude, a right smart man, but I’m no Buddha...

I'm just a wanting/hurting man.

* * *

Gratuitous non-sequitor:

Is there a more unlikely pairing than Diana Krall and Elvis Costello? Methinks not
.

* * *

12 Comments:

Blogger Ponita said...

Your words are echoing in my heart....

I feel the same thing, Jonas. I don't know where to find it either. Lord knows I have been trying but with no success.

Sat Feb 28, 12:16:00 AM  
Blogger joanne said...

it's what we all want...

and i've struggled with this idea that being Buddha means not wanting to love and be loved...

but then, i'm not Buddha either...

Sat Feb 28, 01:16:00 AM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Come here friend.. I'll give you a hug! But you will have to hold me up for balance lol...
I'm hearing the want in your words kiddo... no one should be Buddha...there is fault in his words, in my opinion. We are humans in need of others.. plain and simple. Get out into the world of people dude! Ok-- cheese-lesson over~

Sat Feb 28, 07:20:00 AM  
Blogger anna said...

I'm no Buddha either and I'm just a wanting/hurting woman. I'm looking forward to cessation of suffering... as soon as this craving and attachment stops. I guess I'll have to work on that Eightfold Path.

Sat Feb 28, 08:29:00 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

Buddha wanted to see the real truth, and I think he did. But like most things, the truth is not always kind, or what we want it to be. But it's still the truth.

Maybe that's why they say enlightenment can take many lifetimes.

Sat Feb 28, 05:31:00 PM  
Blogger tipota said...

very simple and deep stuff. it occurs to me that there is something about acceptance in the teachings of buddha. that doesnt mean accept an erroneous fate forever, just accept what is and that wears down any resistance to what can be as it leaves open a space for welcoming more fulfilled existence

Sat Feb 28, 05:49:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I've never been one to actively search for love (or much of anything else, for that matter). My heart and soul simply go about their business until I reach a point where even my brain understands.

Buddha was a "one-off", Joanne. Teachers like that only come around every few millenia.

Your hug and homily are gratefully accepted, Ms. Cheese. Always.

I'm gladdened to know I'm not alone, Anna.

Many lifetimes, Jay? Perhaps. I gotta admit, I don't believe in reincarnation in its traditional sense. I believe the "afterlife" is a return to form: stardust and infinity.

Acceptance of "what is" seems to me to be the only viable approach to heartache, Tipota. I accept what is. It hurts.

Luckily, there is still considerable space between my trees.

Sat Feb 28, 07:46:00 PM  
Blogger citizen of the world said...

You are where you are. I think most of us want the same thing, to love and be loved. I've understnad about non-attachemnt, and yet human that I am, I am attached to the wanting.

Sun Mar 01, 08:43:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Yeah...that being "human" thing...

Fri Mar 06, 11:07:00 PM  
Blogger Woman in a Window said...

Jonas, just know that some of us have been there and we've been rescued. Does that help at all.

Wishing you a rescue.

Sat Mar 07, 08:10:00 AM  
Blogger Sally-Sal said...

I want that want to find you. And when it does, I want it to hold you so close that it steals the hurt and replaces it with joy.
Big hugs.

Tue Mar 10, 04:39:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Oh, WIAW (a.k.a., Pella Princess), I'm not lookin' to be rescued. I just wanna be accepted for myself (warts n' all). And to not be misunderstood (see the playlist).

Sally-Sal, sweetie, thank you for that comment! Hugs are ALWAYS most welcome! And right back atcha!!!

Tue Mar 10, 10:31:00 PM  

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