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Friday, October 30, 2009

Regrets


An acquaintance wrote of regrets.

I cried

And cried

And cried

I dissolved to tears

* * *

15 Comments:

Blogger Cheesy said...

Tears can be good.. Just don't dissolve. I would miss you terribly~

Regrets I suppose can be a positive thing but I find even the mistakes in life have meaning. How else can we learn?

[[[u]]]

Sat Oct 31, 03:49:00 AM  
Blogger lu said...

some things resonate, rock the core. Some of us are a bit more receptive to it; soak it all in. Maybe that's why hugs are such relief..

Sat Oct 31, 08:26:00 AM  
Blogger secret agent woman said...

What I have found in working with people who are dying is that they rarely regret things done, only things not done. I really try to avoid wasting time with regrets. I figure no mater what foolksih decisions I make, they all are part of my own story.

Sat Oct 31, 08:39:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thank you, Dears, for your comments.

I suppose a bit of the "back story" is in order:

My acquaintance wrote of her sorrow that she was not present when her husband died (through most unfortunate timing). Her comments took me to a place of deep, deep sorrow - I was not there at my Father's side when he died. There is no one to blame, it wasn't a matter of action taken/not taken. It wasn't a matter of Choice. It's just the way events unfolded. Still...21 years later...the circumstances and memory fill me with great sorrow.

Pain like that comes flooding in on nights when the wind howls and rain beats mercilessly on windows and roof. On nights like that, just a sentence or two can transport the heart to sorrows...

Sun Nov 01, 06:19:00 PM  
Blogger Selma said...

I wasn't there when my cousin died. We were best friends. Him dying alone is a thought that plagues me constantly. It is an open wound that never heals. I get this post, Jonas. I really do.

Sun Nov 01, 08:23:00 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

I hear you, Jonas. I was with my father when he died... as were the rest of my brothers and sisters. But I was not with my mother when she died. Again, like you, it was just the way events unfolded at the time.

Would I change it if I could? Absolutely. I was very close with my mum.

Do I have regrets? Not in that instance. I loved her very much and told her that all the time. But a distance of several thousand kilometers can take life in directions you were not really aiming for.

I still have moments, when the tears flood forth and my heart is once more torn apart with grief. It comes unexpectedly... from a song, a movie, someone else's situation... brought to the surface to be experienced again.

But its normal too, for those of us with hearts that care deeply, and memories so precious. Hugs to you, Jonas...

Sun Nov 01, 08:50:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I'm not surprised to find I'm not alone with my sorrows and "what-shoulda-been's".

Given that all my peers have lost a parent or two, family members and friends...I have a few stories to tell (as I suspect we all do...or will).

I may tell those stories, someday, if I ever find a way to type through blinding tears.

In the meantime, all I truly want is to hug you all.

Sun Nov 01, 09:17:00 PM  
Blogger Christella said...

Sometimes it seems that regrets linger longer and pop up more in our memories than the good times.

Tears are very cleansing to me. For some reason, music can bring tears, especially when it reminds me of something that I really regret not doing, rather than doing.

Jonas, you can say so much in a few words. A rare talent.

Mon Nov 02, 12:42:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thank you, Christella. I try to use words sparingly so that readers may come to explore their own nuanced thoughts.

(I already know my own, but I'm intrigued by the thoughts of others).

Mon Nov 02, 12:55:00 AM  
Blogger shadowlands6822 said...

My regrets are many. The hope is that I may have some time to put them right. I have no regrets with loving Dan. For that I am grateful. My sorrow is deep with little to help it become more shallow...thanks for the hug.

Tue Nov 03, 07:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Roads said...

How sad for your friend. Fortunately, I was there at the death.

No regrets. Life's too short, and death's too certain. We can but do out best, pathetic as that may often be.

Wed Nov 04, 01:03:00 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

I don't know how one gets to be my age and NOT have regrets. When it comes to love, you have to stick your neck out from time to time and one way or another, there is going to be a bad decision involved and then yes, regrets.

Fri Nov 06, 08:11:00 PM  
Blogger Kass said...

Thank you for your comment on my Opera post. This 'regret' post has made me itchy. I can't put my finger on it to scratch it, but I think I'm in denial about my regrets. Sometimes I say to myself, "Oh well, so what?" But me thinks I do protest too much because there is such effort in the utterance of the dismissal.

Sat Nov 07, 09:29:00 PM  
Blogger anna said...

I regret not giving my father something to fight for. I was pregnant when he died, but didn't know it at the time. I should said something anyway.

Tears always come flooding back (just as they are now) whenever I think about this.

Sun Nov 08, 11:24:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

These comments fill me with a great many thoughts and emotions, and I'm grateful you have all dropped by to share a few of yours. It's plain to see that we are not alone with our regrets or sorrows.

I suppose a better title for this entry would have been "Sorrows", but where does one draw the line between Sorrow and Regret? I'm really not sure.

Another thought that sprang to mind is that, given time enough, it's certain each and every one of us will experience one or both. And that is not necessarily a bad thing (and it is at this point that I can't find the words for what I wish to express...)

Sun Nov 08, 08:47:00 PM  

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