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Friday, October 03, 2008

"Don't Know Much..."

It's true...too true. When all is said and done...I don't know much.

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"Grief can destroy you--or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing the floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deepest beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life." -- Dean Koontz

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I'm gonna be on my knees for a long, long time...

* * *
(Thank you, Sunny)

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Gratuitous non-sequitor:

Isn't it confounding to contemplate two people sitting side-by-side in an automobile hurtling down an endless Interstate and, all the while, their hearts are hurtling in opposite directions?

* * *


Blogger Cheesy said...

Koontz is a genius~~ Stand up once in awhile and look at life from the top once in awhile tho~~

Sat Oct 04, 09:12:00 AM  
Blogger L'uragano (The Hurricane) said...

Jonas, I'm in such awe that you can honor what preceded....I don't have any of that.

Sat Oct 04, 01:10:00 PM  
Blogger Sunny Delight said...


Sat Oct 04, 02:24:00 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

One foot in front of the other...

Sat Oct 04, 02:41:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Ah, My Tempest, I doubt that my comments reflect any nobility of character. No, it's more a function of age...and the fact that I'm battling an overwhelming tide of bitterness and cynicism. I'm trying to focus on the positives (yes, there were many), and wrestling mightily with the negatives...

I think you may be on to something, Maria. I tried that "push one foot behind you, then slide the other back" maneuver, but it didn't really get me anywhere. "One foot in front of the other..." Yes. I think I'll try that!

Thanks, all, for your comments...

Sun Oct 05, 05:00:00 PM  
Blogger Ponygirl said...

Deaths and loss are something I am all too familiar with, having lost a husband and two cousins to suicide, both parents at relatively young ages to the ravages of disease and my oldest sister at the hands of someone stoned on drugs behind the wheel of an SUV hurtling down the wrong side of the highway.

The pain will always be there.... there will always be reminders, but the lessons learned and the memories retained shine through. The love all those people had for me, and I for them, surrounds me and keeps me sane.

I still cry for them, I still miss them, but I also know what they would want me to be like and to do in life, so I move forward and grow and love and share with those who surround me now.

It is tough, Jonas. Loss of any kind is. But see what is still around you, who is still there, and open your heart and your self to emotions and possibilities that let you grow outward and upward.

You have an expressive, emotional way with words. I am pleased to have found your blog.

Sat Oct 11, 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Roads said...

That's a great quote, Jonas. It sums up so much that is important.

Mon Oct 13, 11:38:00 AM  

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