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Friday, January 14, 2011

Parts of Me...



Parts of me really, REALLY liked her. She was smart. She was funny. Wicked funny. She spoke in a husky voice guaranteed to set pants on fire. She was generous. And when she moved? Well, believe you me, she could put most pole dancers to shame.

There’s more:

She loved to cook. She possessed an aesthetic sense that left me breathless (we loved the same poems). AND, she had crazy hair, was freckled and possessed a great rack.

She sported an ankle bracelet.

Yeah, parts of me really, REALLY liked her.

But...I didn’t measure up. I wasn't circumcised. I talked too much.

And I was prone to egregious public acts of generosity.

So it goes.

* * *

13 Comments:

Blogger Fiona said...

The uncircumsized male appendage is a much undervalued apparatus ;)

Sorry this didn't work out, Jonas, but then finding that match, combined with a tolerance for differences, is pretty damn hard!

Fri Jan 14, 04:27:00 AM  
Blogger June Calender said...

Must have been good for a while, though -- those talks about things you both loved. That in itself is pretty rare. Enjoy the memory. Lack of circumcision no doubt stands for a lot of tribal things.

Fri Jan 14, 06:34:00 AM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Her loss, Jonas. No one is perfect in all ways. And those things, to me, are minor... especially circumcision! Ah well. Do enjoy the memories... those will surely make you smile.

Fri Jan 14, 07:37:00 AM  
Blogger Lilith said...

OMG Jonas, you're not circumcised!

I can't read your blog anymore. I'll have to stop having my fantasies about you:)

Just kidding. I'm still going to fantasize about you:)

What can I say? It sounds so trite but it's not you, it's her.

Fri Jan 14, 07:45:00 AM  
Blogger Kass said...

I couldn't bear the thought of circumsizing my three sons so I researched it and found I didn't have to; that it might be better in some ways.

When they were old enough, I explained why they were different from other boys their age; explained the whole process. They shuddered and with shock and awe expressed deep appreciation for the lack of the snip.

They are all happily married and producing progeny.

I'm sorry your friend didn't appreciate you in your fullness.

Fri Jan 14, 09:29:00 AM  
Blogger Wine and Words said...

I wonder if there's a formula...a certain number of connections that must meet head to head before there's no turning from, only a falling into each other. They say when a heart breaks, it don't break even. I wonder if falling in love is the same way.

Circumcision? Really? That's a factor? BLONDES!

Fri Jan 14, 02:00:00 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

I wish I could convey to you how much this post mirrors my life. I know what you mean. If there is anything more majestic than women, God kept it for himself.

Fri Jan 14, 04:21:00 PM  
Blogger Selma said...

Oh, Good Lord. If she couldn't see how amazing you are then I throw my hands up. Some people are too fussy for their own good. Sheesh.

Fri Jan 14, 07:54:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Goodness gracious me, such an outpouring of support for the uncircumsized! I'm chuckling...laughing even.

Yes, Fiona, I've never understood the alchemy of romance. I simply know that it's real.

It WAS good, June, as all my friendships, dalliances and romances have always been.

I do cherish my memories, Ponita. I hope they linger long.

Thanks for the smiles, Lilith. Just for the record, though, I'm waaaaaay better in fantasy than in reality.

I appreciate your sympathetic heart, Kass.

It's that whole alchemy thing, Annie. What amazes me the most is when I've met women and, even before speaking, I KNEW there was a connection. As the saying goes, the heart has reasons that REASON cannot know.

Hello, Joe, a fellow hopeless romantic.

I find it cozy beneath your wing, Selma.

Fri Jan 14, 11:40:00 PM  
Blogger anna said...

Ok, this is where you might hate me just a little bit. I, too, have a preference for cut over uncut. I think I've just had more experience with cut and seem to not really know what to do with uncut. However, it certainly isn't a deal-breaker! Maybe I just need more practice with uncut. Care to volunteer? ;)
(kidding!)

For whatever it's worth, I certainly wouldn't give you up for that bit of extra skin.

Sun Jan 16, 09:20:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I'm not a hater.

Sun Jan 16, 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Having had experience with both, it doesn't matter whether cut or uncut... it's the emotional bond between the two and the skill of the owner that makes all the difference in the world.

Sun Jan 16, 11:30:00 AM  
Blogger Woman in a Window said...

Tolerance for differences. THAT is where it lies. Ok, maybe one step farther than that. Adoration of differences. What we can learn from one another inside of our differences.

Her loss, I'm afraid.

But I do imagine you both gained a great deal in your time together.

xo
erin

Sun Jan 16, 11:36:00 AM  

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