Did I Wound?
Believe me when I say I’m confused. There was nothing furthest from my mind. Believe me when I say that my intentions were good. Believe me when I say I believe that love conquers all...even if it doesn’t (always/ever) seem that way.
Believe me, too, when I say that if I HAD intended to wound, there would be no mistaking. No, there’d be no mistaking that. I’m no angel. I know how to go for the jugular. I see your vulnerabilities (after all, they’re not all that different from mine). If I wanted to inflict pain,
I could. Easily.
I haven’t wanted to hurt another for decades. Not since the time in High School when I tried to throw a body into the path of a passing car in a desperate attempt to save my own life. Not since then. No (trust me on this) not since then. No, not ever since or ever again.
If I hurt you, I apologize.
When I hurt, I don’t wanna hurt another. Pain and guilt don’t lead to healing.
When I hurt, I look to love. How else is healing possible?
When I hurt, I seek to become better.
Not worse.
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posted by Jonas | 3/19/2011 08:04:00 PM
8 Comments:
You don't strike me as the type who would intentionally wound another. I perceive you to be someone who is care, giving, kind, sensitive, considerate, honest and honorable.
I have no doubt that you never intended to wound.
Please accept my friendly virtual hug from afar. I feel like you could use it.
When I hurt, I still want to hurt another. I'm getting better but still there is that first impulse to strike back, to hurt. I'm learning to stand back, to pause before I open my mouth.
You've really been on a roll lately, much more frequent posts than usual ... spring is awakening your creative expression -- in photos as well as words.
I'm sure your intent was never to wound... But sometimes others are not very good at judging one's intent, or because of who/where they are, they look to lay blame for someone wounding them.
Knowing in your heart that you had the best of intentions is what's important. As Anna said, you have the heart of a gentleman... of that I am certain. I, too, send you virtual hugs. Because, really... who couldn't always use a good hug?
I believe, on all counts.
I really like this piece. And, wow, that's some picture.
And I agree, you are on a roll. I love it.
I understand. Like I said before, I think the fact that you look these things in the eye...weigh and consider...in and of itself shows you are decent and kind and have no wish to harm. Me neither. And yet I do.
I have a constant push pull - when someone has hurt me, I have an immediate wish to hurt back which is almost always over-ridden by my reluctance to cause anyone pain.
Oh, Anna, your opinion of me is far too exalted. I'm a little bit o' that and a little bit o' this. Far from perfect...or noble. So, yes, I could use a hug (don't we all?).
My first impulse is to blame myself.
Truth be told, June, I wasn't (rarely ever am) aware of my posting frequency. Words come, by whatever path they do, whenever they wish. But, now that you mentioned it, I guess I have been blogging more frequently. Methinks it's due to the fact that I've been listening to a bit more music than usual nowadays. Music kinda does things to me...
Yes, Ponita, hugs for all...'cuz we all need them. True, too, that while I never intended to hurt, I've hurt others...severely. It's been hard living with that.
Thank you, Patti.
You and I aren't all that different, Annie.
Keep channeling that Quaker spirit, Secret Agent.
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