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Location: Midwest, United States

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Falling Apart

Tried to keep it together
Smiled forced smiles

Waved to my neighbors
Cooked tasteless dinner

Went through the motions
Drank me some wine

Amazing Woman lies dying
Hourglass empty

I lost it
Lost everything

Went through the motions
Ashes and dust

* * *


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Jonas.

Thu Sep 22, 09:44:00 PM  
Blogger Wine and Words said...

Shit. There is just no preparation...even though we know. Damn it's a painful thing. It's that leak in our damn from which we bleed out, and probably always will....that leak they used to plug with the finger of their earthly existence. I'm so very sorry for your loss Jonas. ((Hugs))

I don't believe death is the end.

Thu Sep 22, 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I appreciate the comments. I truly do. But not for me the sympathy. A beautiful (tortured) soul says good-bye to this existence. Me? I live. I will have outlived Amazing Woman by more than thirteen years. Not for me the sympathy. No! Not for me.

Thu Sep 22, 10:29:00 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Not sympathy... but empathy for the helplessness and anguish you feel. And dismay that Amazing Woman is losing her battle. Long warm hugs, Jonas.

Fri Sep 23, 08:05:00 AM  
Blogger PattiKen said...

No sympathy nor even empathy. I know neither is a help. I offer a wish that she finds peace at last, and that you can find peace in knowing the suffering is over. But most of all, I offer the strongest emotion I feel when I hear of another victim of this horrible disease. Outrage.

Fri Sep 23, 07:51:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

You have touched my heart, each and every one of you. You have. You each offer different perspectives and display an array of sensibilities. By doing so, you teach me important lessons.

I will simply add this: Amazing Woman and I had a good number of friends in common. Many, indeed, have expressed their hatred of cancer. Their hatred is not enough. What fills me with outrage is the fact that we, as a people, spend, literally, TRILLIONS on war and the weapons necessary for the conduct thereof. TRILLIONS.

I am outraged that we devote so much to destroying life and so little to protecting life, healing the sick, giving succor to the suffering.

I am sad, outraged and devastated.

Sun Sep 25, 03:33:00 PM  
Blogger Wine and Words said...

Agreed. In addition I think of the golf tournament winner who won 10 million dollars (having just had this argument with my husband last night. He plays golf! He's not curing disease, teaching our children, or carrying someone's sister out of a burning building. It just makes no sense to me how society places value. At some level I must also be to blame...but they spent my tax dollars putting the ugliest brass monstrosity of a sculpture the most ridiculous place in the city and YES YES YES they should have used it for cancer research. ACK, don't get me started.

Mon Sep 26, 10:10:00 AM  
Blogger PattiKen said...

Well, you know about my daughter. how could I feel anything but outrage? Oh, "outrage" doesn't even begin to cover it.

"...protecting life, healing the sick, giving succor to the suffering" - those are among the very programs certain powers-that-be want to cut to protect the entitlements of the wealthy and big business, while leaving enough for warmongering.

It all makes me sick, and so ashamed.

Mon Sep 26, 10:37:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

See, Annie and Patti? This is why I love you two so much!

Tue Oct 11, 07:15:00 PM  
Blogger PattiKen said...

Back at ya, Big Guy.

Tue Oct 11, 10:14:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thank you, Patti...

Tue Oct 11, 11:27:00 PM  

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