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Thursday, February 22, 2007


She told me he was possessive…controlling. Such a familiar refrain. And with that, another late night conversation leads to an all night pondering…

Possession…obsession…jealousy…control…why? Why?

Why do some seek to possess, to control, another's heart? Seems like such a painful and altogether pointless exercise. Can a heart ever be possessed? Can a heart truly be controlled? What benefit is to be derived from insisting on exclusivity, from wishing to control someone for one’s personal use only, demanding to be the sole object of somebody’s love?

To love another heart is to thrill in that heart. And the human heart is boundless. It does not lend itself to either internal or external control. It was never meant to be chained or jailed. The human heart is what it is, and it will do what it must do. To fetter the heart is to kill the very spirit that gave impetus to love.

Hearts are meant to be savored, admired and adored. To love another is to glory in that individual.

Possession…obsession…jealousy…control…destructive impulses all. They have no place in love’s alchemy, for these impulses are not rooted in love. They merely serve to destroy, over time, the very object of desire.

Can the human heart be possessed? No. It cannot. It can, however, be enthralled.

I wish only to enthrall…to delight or fascinate someone so thoroughly, and engage another’s attention so completely, that the beloved heart would, of its own free will, come to stay…come to love…forever.

* * *


Blogger Snow Queen said...

To quote an old adage: 'If you love somethong, set it free; if it comes back it is yours, if it doesn't, it never was'. Still, having loved a man for nigh on 6 years now, and who cannot reciprocate (another story) I know what it is like to desperately want another's heart and to know the sheer agony and pain of knowing that I cannot ask them to love my heart ... one does not own another ... even if she is a 'Queen'.

Thu Feb 22, 11:59:00 AM  
Blogger Snow Queen said...

I just read my typing error which makes for a good giggle... one may like someone's 'thong' indeed ... I just don't know that one would want it to come back!!! (Obviously the first post should read 'something')

Thu Feb 22, 12:02:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I think there are a great many benefits to be derived from setting thongs free...

Digression aside, I know what you mean...

Thu Feb 22, 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger Nathan said...

You have some wisdom man. Its hard to find wise people these days. I want to make you aware of this book that discusses the heart and the glory that God originally intended for us to display. Hearts have been broken and need put back together. Proverbs 4:28 "Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it {flows} the springs of life." is one truth it emphasizes.

Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive

Thu Feb 22, 01:49:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

Possession, obsession, jealousy, control...they are all based in fear.

Fear of loss, fear of abandonment. What most people fail to realise is they more often than not, cause the loss and abandonment.

I'm not immune from feelings of jealousy, pangs more like. Little stabs now and then. But holding too tightly onto something just leaves you with a sore hand.

Plus, if someone really doesn't want to be there, s/he won't stay no matter how much you may want it.

Thu Feb 22, 06:34:00 PM  
Blogger Sunny Delight said...

Having lived just such a situation, I have pondered for years, seeking to understand. I can't. I know the reasons behind the need perhaps, but I cannot understand.

It is a destruction, of love, of the possessed's spirit. The possessed seeks only to become unchained.

You have succeeded.

Thu Feb 22, 07:09:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

My dear Fiona, I hesitate to disagree with you (in fact, I'm cowed by the very notion), but...I think there's something more at work than just fear. I understand the fear. We all have it, face it, wrestle with it, agonize over it...but it seems there is more at work here than simply fear. There is also the scent of malevolence, greed, power, domination...something well beyond love (or fear)...something I don't recognize...something I simply cannot understand.

Oh, Ms. Delight...have I?

Thu Feb 22, 07:56:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

Jonas - good grief disagree away, it's through such differences in thought that I learn ;)

Hmmmmm well that kind of possession I've not experienced, the kind that transgresses into something darker than fear of loss.

I don't think I'd stay around too long if it did.

Thu Feb 22, 08:20:00 PM  

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