Just a coupla weeks ago, I noted that the harder I pedal, the more perilous the ride.
Well, I had me another spill two days ago.
I wish I could claim it was just another heroic episode in a series of epic, death-defying adventures as told by bronze, immortal Adonis, me.
Yeah. I wish.
The bald truth is that I came to a bad end whilst trying to stop for a rest break after two+ hours of continuous cycling. I was far more spent than I realized. Far clumsier than I wish to admit. My pedal cleats worked exactly the way they were engineered to work. My synapses and reflexes? They function erratically.
It was kinda a slow-motion fall. I knew I was gonna fall before I fell. Funny thing, I didn’t suffer that much personal damage, as in skin lost and blood spilled. Elbow blood mostly. Of course, at the rate I’m going, these county roads will have extracted a pound of flesh by harvest time...but that’s still a long ways off. I wasn’t so much physically hurt as decidedly upset with myself. Sure, I lost a bit o’ skin. Lost a drop o’ blood or two. But I looked at my bicycle and noted I bent the brake lever. Tore the handlebar tape to shreds. Ripped the saddle. Rolled the tire right off the rim. Tore my jersey at the shoulder and tore my shorts at the hip. Oh, Sweet Jeebus, now I gotta pay for my mishaps with coin of the realm! That’s just salt in the wounds, brothers and sisters. Salt in the wounds.
As I sat by the side of the road, remounting the tire on the rim and reflecting upon my doofusness/doofosity, I realized that what I needed most in life was a cycling buddy.
Someone who’d extend a hand to help me back on my feet. Someone to objectively survey the damage and offer reassurance (or call for an ambulance). Someone to sit next to me, swatting at flies, while I fixed a flat.
Someone who’ll be glad I’m all right, while noting how hysterically funny /stupid I looked whilst crashing.
Yeah, I need me one of those.
Meanwhile, I went to my local drugstore and bought me an industrial-size bottle of “Pain Relieving Antiseptic Spray.”
Methinks I’m gonna need it.
I've got a 20-mile “tempo ride” planned for tomorrow morning.
Pray for me.
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