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Location: Midwest, United States

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Visiting the Heart

During heavy hours ticking slowly past midnight, I sometimes wander about the corridors of my heart.

It’s a complicated place.

There are rooms filled with childhood memories.  Happy places. 
I can’t help but smile whenever I enter.

Rooms filled with friends.  Most rather magnificent.  I visit often, almost daily. 

There are rooms filled with ambitions.  Dusty now. 

Rooms filled with hopes.  Rarely visited.

And there’s a room filled with memories totaling nearly half my life. 

I crack the door open every now and then.

And recoil.

There’s treasure there.  I remember it well.  Just one step forward, though, and there’s pain.  

The floor is littered with glass shards and razors.  Knives and spilled blood. 

If only I could find a way to sweep the agonies away, to drown them in an abyssal sea.

I don’t know how to do that.

There’s treasure there, just two steps away.

And an old Chinese saying: “One can’t cross a chasm in two steps.”

There’s a chamber in my heart that beckons me to visit. 

And a door latch that kills.

* * *


Blogger June Calender said...

Another moving and beautifully written poem -- I've been waiting impatiently for a new post from you. Thanks ... and may you feel moved to post more often, there's a lot of material for poetry in the chambers of your heart.

Sun Nov 25, 05:26:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Oh, June! I'm so sorry i kept you waiting. It's true though, I've grown quiet. It's not that my brain has slowed. In fact, the gears are spinning fast as always. It's just that I'm finding it difficult to process all the emotions. For the first time (in a long, long time) I'm dealing with loneliness. All this is new to me, one who remained a recluse as deep wounds healed.

There's a new chapter to be written...but I've not yet found the words.

(P.S., Chaucer and Milton tried my very soul)

Mon Nov 26, 09:32:00 PM  
Blogger Bella said...

when I read this, I can relate, totally. it was beautifully written and heartfelt, wow.

Fri Nov 30, 06:59:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Thank you, Bella.

Sat Dec 01, 10:25:00 PM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

I am in that stage now. Learning to live with myself and my thoughts. Alone time is good of course but always alone is a scarey place. I have dealt with single-dom before but I didn't face it alone as the kids were still home.This post touched me deeply. Thank you.

Wed Dec 26, 07:19:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

You're welcome, Queen Cheese. We understand each other.

Fri Jan 11, 12:31:00 AM  

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