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Sunday, February 25, 2007

Letters Never Written


I’ve tried composing so many letters, countless letters, in my head. They never came to be ink on paper, pixels on a monitor. There have been so very many letters never actually written…never sent.

Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps it would have been for the best to put pain into words and the words onto paper. Written in blood, if necessary.

Then again, I simply couldn’t. Deafened and defeated by my own sobs, too full of questions, too overcome by anguish, how could
I have even hoped to cry a coherent thought onto paper?

The best I probably could have managed might be this one word:

“Why?”

* * *

20 Comments:

Blogger Snow Queen said...

*sob* I know the feeling!

Sun Feb 25, 03:56:00 PM  
Blogger Snow Queen said...

...actually for me it would have been: 'Why not?'...*sob* *sigh*

Sun Feb 25, 04:00:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

Why is the hardest to answer. The what's, when's, who's, where's...can all be answered. The why, rarely, especially at the time we ask it.

But then as we continue on our path, sometimes the things that life brings us gives us at least a part of the answer. Why? Because this was meant to be my future, not that.

Sun Feb 25, 06:06:00 PM  
Blogger anna said...

Why indeed. I'm not good at not having an answer when I ask why. Not understanding the why makes it to difficult to accept the what.

Sun Feb 25, 07:00:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Interesting comments all. Thank you.

Sun Feb 25, 08:35:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Funny how a phrase can lodge itself within my brain, and then slowly seep into my consciousness.

Fiona, your comment "...this was meant to be my future, not that." is resonating within my mind and heart. Methinks you may be right.

Mon Feb 26, 04:49:00 PM  
Blogger Snow Queen said...

I often think of this quote from Dag Hammarskjöld:

'For all that has been, thanks;
For all that will be YES!'

Mon Feb 26, 04:54:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Ah, Your Majesty, I like that. YES!

Mon Feb 26, 04:59:00 PM  
Blogger Snow Queen said...

A bow and an Oscar for me then :) tee hee!!!!

Mon Feb 26, 05:04:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

Jonas, everything on the path is there for a reason, I've always believed that. Even when we can't for the life of us understand the purpose at the time :)

Mon Feb 26, 05:55:00 PM  
Blogger Sunny Delight said...

Jonas, I think as Fiona intuits, the answer to why never comes until we are healed from the very cause of us asking the painful wounding whys.

We may never truly find the answer to the question, but retracing the trail of tears along the healing path of why, leads us to a better one.

As to writing it, there comes a time, when we can, sometimes (for people like me) it is a must, I have no choice. The why courses through my brain, feeling as if it is destroying my heart, but then one day, something happens, and I have to pour it all out on paper. Then, I know I am on the path to healing. But that is me. We all have own healing journeys, our own way of arriving.

Mon Feb 26, 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Roads said...

That one sent me back to another time, before I even realised.

For Catherine, wherever life may find her.

'Music was my first love,
and it will be my last'
- John Miles

Tue Feb 27, 07:23:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

That's a poignant comment, Roads.

It would appear that many (dare I say most of us?) carry within letters never written.

Tue Feb 27, 07:33:00 AM  
Blogger Snow Queen said...

...I wrote them, just never sent them...well, I sent one...quite cathartic...he was, and still is, my greatest love...do you EVER get over them???

Tue Feb 27, 08:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Roads said...

Not so poignant, really, just that it's practically impossible to live a life without regrets.

She was my first real girlfriend, and I treated her badly. Because she loved me. We wrote to each other, nearly every day. We shared that song.

And we had some fantastic times together, before I broke her heart.

Would we rather not have lived those times ? I wouldn't have missed them for the world, but you'd have to ask her as well. Wherever you might find her.

Tue Feb 27, 08:43:00 AM  
Blogger Fiona said...

Part of my ability to love the way I do today, is having had my heart broken.

Tue Feb 27, 07:09:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Another interesting perspective, Fi...and it rings true.

Tue Feb 27, 07:15:00 PM  
Blogger Sally-Sal said...

Having your heart broken strengthens you for when the real love of your life enters.

Without heartbreak, maybe our hearts could not handle the love that is meant for us.

Wed Feb 28, 07:49:00 PM  
Blogger Jonas said...

I hope you are right, Ms. Sally. I sincerely, truly hope you are right.

Wed Feb 28, 08:58:00 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

I really believe what Sally is saying.

Another thing I have learned in my passage through life. That people who marry early, without having had a few relationships under their belt, without having felt heartbreak, so very often don't appreciate the person to whom they are married. Because they haven't felt the pain of loss.

Thu Mar 01, 02:54:00 AM  

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