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I’m an analog soul living in a digital world. We all have our burdens to bear, I suppose.
For the past six months or so, I’ve been experiencing a strange phenomenon. Seemingly twice each day, I’d glance at a digital clock somewhere/anywhere and I’d note the time: “12:34.” Yep. Day in…day out, my eyes always came to rest on a clock at that specific time…(no matter if it’s ante- or post-meridiem).
I was delighted the first time it happened. “12:34” - it struck my fancy. I think our minds (well…OK…mine anyway) gravitate towards patterns. Here was a 'digito-temporal' straight flush…a simple progression…carved in time.
Then it happened again and again, and then again. Regardless of where I was, or what I may have been doing, I’d glance at a digital clock at just that precise time. And each time it happened, I felt
a teeny-tiny cosmic jolt.
I ascribed it to mere chance at first. A whimsical smidge of serendipity. After a few more occurrences, it began to feel like Fate…an augury…1 – 2 – 3 – 4. Then I began to cheat a bit. Shortly after noon or midnight, I’d be mindful of any clock within eyeshot. Well, that certainly “de-funned” the phenomenon, so I quit doing it. And then it would happen again…and again: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4…
Why?
I believe in Fate. I believe in omens and mystery and magic and serendipity. There are no empirical reasons to believe in such doings; but, it’s the spice of life…therefore, I believe. I must believe.
Still, I hate to think my science education may have been completely wasted, so I ponder and mull as to why? I recalled Freud’s postulate that our subconscious minds are all seeing, all-knowing…ever observant; however, our conscious minds cull, sift, sort and censor this avalanche of data lest we be perpetually overwhelmed. Methinks the good doctor may be right. 1 – 2 – 3 – 4…is this just the whimsical interplay of my conscious/subconscious minds?
Probably.
* * *
Those who know me well, who have known me for decades, have often heard me proclaim that I am most fortunate…truly blessed. For, you see, whenever I’ve been laid to waste by love’s travails, someone with healing hands inexplicably wanders into my life…at just the right time…precisely when my heart begins to yearn again…and I, Destiny’s child, am blessed once more by the grace of another soul.
I’ve long ascribed it to the munificence of the Fates.
Perhaps the Fates truly are my smiling, merciful benefactresses. Perhaps I owe dear Themis, Clotho, Atropos and Lachesis more than a few heartfelt thank-you’s. Perhaps. Then again, it may be a matter of my heart telegraphing its yearnings to my brain…”Send me an angel.” My compliant mind then opens its shuttered eyes and exclaims:
“Ah, there she is.” An angel made to order.
And thus, it begins again: awareness…appreciation…affection…adoration. As easy as 1 – 2 – 3 – 4…the dance begins again.
* * *
I hope and pray, this time, to dance my way to serenity.
I hope and pray, this time, to dance my way to serenity.
* * *
Gratuitous non-sequitor: I love "Vanilla Mint" ChapStick®.
Gratuitous non-sequitor: I love "Vanilla Mint" ChapStick®.
posted by Jonas | 3/03/2007 12:29:00 PM
23 Comments:
Well that would certainly spook me. I have a similar ability to know what the time is, to the minute without looking at a clock...it sometimes freaks me out, especially if I have been asleep, wake in the middle of the night and guess the time before I look at the clock. I believe that our bodies are very attuned to the passage of time. I just wish that my heart was attuned just as well as my body !
Ah, My Liege, when I wake I have absolutely no idea what time it is, what day it is, what galaxy I inhabit...
As they say, it takes all kinds...
I believe that the world and the future unfold as they should and that even the awful things that happen have a reason or a purpose behind them. It's up to us to take away what we can from every experience.
As for the numbers, my middle daughter was obssessed with 12:34 when she was younger, always waiting for that time.
I enjoy reading your posts. You have the soul of a poet.
Deb, I do believe you are right...everything has a purpose and a meaning...lessons learned and wisdom garnered.
I take it you think I'll grow out of my current obsession?
Thank you, Deb, for your kind words. Truth be told, I have the body and soul of a graying geezer. Sigh.
As I've said before, everything happens for a reason...and everyone happens into our life, as we do theirs, for a reason.
And from those reasons, those introductions, those whims of fate, destiny, chance or kismet, we are given a chance to build our future with our hearts filled like never before.
Big smiles.
May you remain ever-smiling, Fiona!
The Fates spin, measure and cut.
Our lives determined by them?
As Clotho spins the thread, and Lachesis takes our measure.......they weave the tapestry of our lives. But in that time before Atropos decides to make her cut,do we wait for her random cut?
Or do we take an active role in following a loose thread? A dance of destiny interspersed with open hearts and minds creating a pattern that leads to serenity?
Allowing the new choices in our lives, those times when our eyes are truly open (Freud's postulate that when our conscious mind is ready, we do see) to lead us in our dance to serenity? A dance to kisses met.
Let the music begin, for I wish to dance to kisses met!
Um...why is the house shaking?
Because you are the ONE!
The entire planet is wobbling on its axis, quaking now!
I love gratuitous non sequiturs... especially when they have to do with chapstick--one of my favorite addictions. :-)
Have you tried the Vanilla Mint, Amaris? I love the taste.
Fate offers up an introduction. What we do with it, is up to us. Take it and run with it Sunny. Run with joy in your heart for all your tomorrows.
When I see that 1-2-3-4, it gives me pause, but I could never describe it the way you do. Also, I think I am experiencing a miracle of fate. Maybe we have been living right, after all?
Peace, my friend
Well, Ms. Green-Eyes, I've no doubt you've been living right.
Me? I'm living proof the Fates love a fool.
Here's to a "wonderfulicious" future!
Hmmm.. When I look at my clock I see 12:00.... and it blinks.. I wonder what that's a sign of??
[well it does that until I find my electrical tape!]
analogue...rich. organic, warm...that's the way to live.
Ms. Cheesy...you crack me up. I've learned to not be drinking ANYTHING when I read a comment from you...(I hate having to wipe up the keyboard)
Ms. Bon Jour: I'm trying...really trying...to live an analog life...
a) Themis? You might as well forget about her. I'm not sure the Fates consult her at all when they do their dirty work.
b) As for the 12:34 - ever notice that the very instant you learn a new vocab word, you hear the word 10 times in the next week? Same thing. You probably glance at the clock every two minutes all day long, but you don't remember it because it has no significance. Sorry to be a downer but I'm very familiar with the phenomenon because it happens to me all the time. I recently became more interested in chess, and suddenly I see chessboards everywhere.
This Fate thing always puzzles me, confusese me and makes my head whirl...as does the idea of reasons. I think because I keep thinking it means there is some ultimate predetermined outcome, some endpoint that had been determined by something out there.
Where does Fate fit with Choice? How can Choice exist if there is Fate? Aren't the choices then fated? Why wouldn't they be? What is the cutoff point/who decides when Fate stops and Choice steps in?
Fate is a yummy concept when things go well for me. It's comforting, I feel blessed, connected to my source, seen, part of God's chosen.
It drove me nuts, though when I was younger, this concept of Fate....was I on the "right" path? I was in so much pain- was it because I was fated to be miserable...and why would the something in the sky fate me to hurt? Why create pain? Is it because I was damned...fated to be the unloved and forgotten? Unyummy.
At this point, I continue to like the concept of a Dance. That the universe is unconditional love beyond our imagination and is willing to give us EVERY request we have, whether conscious or un. It will even show us 1 2 3 4 simply because it makes us happy.
I am the source of my pain. I am the source of my Joy. I keep myself cut off from my Source or I Dance along. Lately I have been cut off, but I hear the music returning.
So, hello Mr. Jonas- I followed the blue name and found you here. Thanks for commenting so I could meet a most powerfully unique and intriguing You. Fate? Muahhahahahaah............
I believe you'll find, Ms. Gillette, that I throw out a lot of terms such as Fate, Dance, Song, Kosmic Krapshoot, Cosmic Subconsciousness, etc., not because I believe in the truth of any one of these terms...I don't...it's ALL a great big, gobsmacking mystery to me. I'm wont to flash my poetic license often because life's mysteries truly are unknowable and incomprehensible...and that is part of life's grandeur and allure, is it not?
Thank you for visiting. I'm pleased to meet you.
In addition, I see you also use "spice," one of my favorites, wink, wink.
I like mystery and usually live there. I also find that when one applies what I call Mystic Logic, that things are no longer such a mystery, but make perfect logical sense. Just not linear logic.
Romance lost? Oh, maybe. Probably.
"Right?" Who the heck-i-beck knows?
But always always interesting, spicy and juicy (my other favorite word).
Enjoying your archives. Thanks for writing.
Speaking of favorite words, Ms. Gillette, let's not forget "lubricious". Such a slick, shiny, well-lubed word, is it not?
Thank you, again, for your complimentary words. I don't believe I deserve them, but...heck...I'll take all the compliments I can get!
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